Udder Beauty

Ensuring that dairy queens are selected for their natural splendor

The scourge of udder tampering has not escaped the attention of humorist Dave Barry. In one of his columns, he laments unscrupulous dairy farmers who inject foreign udder-enhancing substances into their animals’ mammary glands in a desperate bid for a competitive edge at livestock shows. Barry likens these competitions to human beauty pageants, except that the cows get no credit at all for being smart or having nice personalities.